2011/03/14

如果今天是此生最後一日,我今天要做些什麼?




節錄自Steve Jobs 演說Stay Hungry.Stay Foolish中的第3個故事

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.


About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.

This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's lifeDon't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinkingDon't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.
Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

我的第三個故事,是關於死亡。
當我十七歲時,我讀到一則格言,好像是「把每一天都當成生命中的最後一天,你就會輕鬆自在。(If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right)」
這對我影響深遠,在過去33年裡,我每天早上都會照鏡子,自問:「如果今天是此生最後一日,我今天要做些什麼?」每當我連續太多天都得到一個「沒事做」的答案時,我就知道我必須有所改變了。
提醒自己快死了,是我在人生中面臨重大決定時,所用過最重要的方法。因為幾乎每件事-所有外界期望、所有的名聲、所有對困窘或失敗的恐懼-在面對死亡時,都消失了,只有最真實重要的東西才會留下(Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important)。提醒自己快死了,是我所知避免掉入畏懼失去的陷阱裡最好的方法。人生不帶來、死不帶去,沒理由不能順心而為。

一年前,我被診斷出癌症。我在早上七點半作斷層掃描,在胰臟清楚出現一個腫瘤,我連胰臟是什麼都不知道。醫生告訴我,那幾乎可以確定是一種不治之症,預計我大概活不到三到六個月了。醫生建議我回家,好好跟親人們聚一聚,這是醫生對臨終病人的標準建議。那代表你得試著在幾個月內把你將來十年想跟小孩講的話講完。那代表你得把每件事情搞定,家人才會盡量輕鬆。那代表你得跟人說再見了。
我整天想著那個診斷結果,那天晚上做了一次切片,從喉嚨伸入一個內視鏡,穿過胃進到腸子,將探針伸進胰臟,取了一些腫瘤細胞出來。我打了鎮靜劑,不醒人事,但是我老婆在場。她後來跟我說,當醫生們用顯微鏡看過那些細胞後,他們都哭了,因為那是非常少見的一種胰臟癌,可以用手術治好。所以我接受了手術,康復了。

這是我最接近死亡的時候,我希望那會繼續是未來幾十年內最接近的一次。經歷此事後,我可以比先前死亡只是純粹想像時,要能更肯定地告訴你們下面這些:
沒有人想死。即使那些想上天堂的人,也想活著上天堂。
但是死亡是我們共同的終點,沒有人逃得過。這是註定的,因為死亡很可能就是生命中最棒的發明,是生命交替的媒介,送走老人們,給新生代開出道路。現在你們是新生代,但是不久的將來,你們也會逐漸變老,被送出人生的舞台。抱歉講得這麼戲劇化,但是這是真的。
你們的時間有限,所以不要浪費時間活在別人的生活裡。不要被教條所侷限--盲從教條就是活在別人思考結果裡。不要讓別人的意見淹沒了你內在的心聲。最重要的,擁有追隨自己內心與直覺的勇氣,你的內心與直覺多少已經知道你真正想要成為什麼樣的人(have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become),任何其他事物都是次要的。
在我年輕時,有本神奇的雜誌叫做《Whole Earth Catalog》,當年這可是我們的經典讀物。那是一位住在離這不遠的Menlo Park的Stewart Brand發行的,他把雜誌辦得很有詩意。那是1960年代末期,個人電腦跟桌上出版還沒出現,所有內容都是打字機、剪刀跟拍立得相機做出來的。雜誌內容有點像印在紙上的平面Google,在Google出現之前35年就有了:這本雜誌很理想主義,充滿新奇工具與偉大的見解。
Stewart跟他的團隊出版了好幾期的《Whole Earth Catalog》,然後很自然的,最後出了停刊號。當時是1970年代中期,我正是你們現在這個年齡的時候。在停刊號的封底,有張清晨鄉間小路的照片,那種你四處搭便車冒險旅行時會經過的鄉間小路。
在照片下印了行小字:求知若飢,虛心若愚(Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish)。
那是他們親筆寫下的告別訊息,我總是以此自許。當你們畢業,展開新生活,我也以此祝福你們。
求知若飢,虛心若愚(Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish)。


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